Chicago

I haven’t been to Chicago recently. But Chicago is a city that became a core memory for me. 

I was interning for a major airline in Dallas, TX, and had the privilege/benefit of flying anywhere on the weekends for free. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me, and I was having the best time away from home and looking forward to my career after graduating college. Sometimes, it does feel like I’m bragging when I say that I traveled a lot during that time, but it was the first time I traveled in the US and it was a dream come true to finally experience it. 

However, it didn’t last quite as long because of the pandemic. I know, I know - no one wants to talk about the pandemic, but it’s been three years since the lockdown happened and time flies pretty fast. So my travel journey for that semester was fulfilling, but shorter than I hoped. 

I remember there were so many discussions about the pandemic when the news broke out. And one by one, I saw the news of companies shutting down or laying off employees. I remember my manager thought it was all going to blow over soon. Disney laid off their college program interns, but at least we were still there, right? 

On March 14, 2020, my colleagues and I flew to Chicago. Earlier that week, former President Trump announced that the U.S. would be on lockdown, so all the companies and businesses had closed. We tried to go to Skydeck Chicago as we were excited to stand on the glass floor with the city view and take pictures for the ‘gram. But it was closed. We also tried to go to the infamous Bean, but they wouldn’t let us go near it either. However, we did have a little bit of fun though. I ate delicious deep-dish pizza there. It was also St. Patricks Day weekend, so I did have my first shot that day at a random bar. We ended up walking a lot in the city and we were able to visit a botanical conservatory, too. Honestly, we were there for about 6-7 hours and then flew back to Dallas. 

After that weekend, I got a phone call from HR about the bad news. My internship role had been terminated - I was laid off by the company. Fortunately, the company still paid us for the rest of the semester. Our intern group chat was frantic about the news, and we were all sad that this semester ended early. I cried a lot that night after I got off the phone call. I cried to my family, though they were glad that I got to go back home. I held in my tears when my managers called me, reassuring me how it had been a great pleasure working with me. They were pretty cool and chill managers, too. At the time, I was stressed out and obsessed about finding a job after college, and I worked hard to get an internship at any company, so being let go made me feel that I had to start over in finding a job again. First jobs are always the hardest to get is what they all say. I was already mass-applying for jobs months before the pandemic and graduation, and so with all the companies getting shut down and downsizing, I felt the pressure from the lack of job opportunities in the market. 

Sometimes when I think about Chicago, I think about my memory of the entire world slowly getting shut down and millions of people across the country lost their jobs during those few weeks of lockdown, including myself.

The worst part of it all, of course, was that millions of people lost their lives. I was also very stressed because I live with my grandparents, who are at high risk of catching COVID. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them. 

I know that I am young, and I have a lot to look forward to in the future. But I can’t help the fact that I feel like my young 20s were empty because of the pandemic. My romanticized vision of the early twenties was gone, and I became anxious all the time. I was an insomniac for a few months after the lockdown. Although I am grateful that nothing has happened to me or my family, I always remember that time being one of the worst. And today, I am still facing the aftermath of the pandemic, trying to socialize more as well as experience life more. Sometimes, it feels like my life before the pandemic was at its peak, even though I didn’t know what I wanted in life or who I was. But knowing me, I refuse to be remembered that way, so I am making it up for the lost time now. 

I don’t have plans to go to Chicago anytime soon, but someday, I would like to go back to the city to revisit the destinations that I didn’t get to go to last time. Gotta make a circle of life, you know what I mean? Let me know your recommendations for places and restaurant spots if you have been! 

It could’ve been worse, and I’m grateful that it didn’t. I took all the necessary measures to make sure my family and I were safe, so that’s the most important part of it all. I eventually found my first 9 to 5 job a few months after the lockdown and made some great memories and friends from that workplace as well. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog post. I feel reflective on that time as I am writing this. Until next time, thanks for reading!