My Thoughts on “Hollywood Park” by Mikel Jollett
“What is a mom and what is a dad and what is a family and if it’s so special then why did you leave me?”
Hollywood Park is a memoir by Mikel Jollett, who is also known as the singer in the American rock band Airborne Toxic Event. His book was raw and vulnerable, with him growing up with traumatic family issues, such as alcohol and substance abuse, depression, poverty, and neglect throughout his childhood.
Mikel was born into a cult called Synanon, one of the biggest cults in America that was established as a rehab program, but used “attack therapy” to overcome substance abuse. As Synanon grew, their leader “Chuck” became controlling and demanded the members follow his rules, and the organization became a cult in the 1970s. I didn’t know what Synanon was, but they were headquartered in Santa Monica, CA, and surprisingly, it is still operating today in Germany.
Mikel’s mother and father were in the Synanon, and they were not allowed to be with their children. In the cult, the children were placed in a “School”, or essentially an orphanage, so that they can grow up independently without their parents. The memoir begins with Mikel’s mother waking him and his older brother, Tony, early in the morning from School to escape Synanon. Mikel’s mother and father were divorced, but they left separately as members were getting assaulted for not following their leader. Also, when Chuck’s wife passed away, he didn’t allow couples to stay together so they were forced to divorce and find a new partner. The mother was upset that her husband didn’t choose to stay with her after leaving the cult. Because of that, she blamed everything on him, painting the idea that their father left them. However, she had deep issues and was manipulative as well, wanting Mikel to take care of her because that’s his responsibility as her son. The father was an ex-con and a heroin addict, but eventually, he re-entered Mikel’s life and decided to stay in his life. The story shows Mikel’s point-of-view of the events he went through, with traumatic events from the cult, his mother’s depression, and trying to reconnect with his father while also being responsible to take care of his mother. Honestly, the book didn’t share too much about his experiences in the cult as he was a kid, but it impacted him psychologically when he was older. He always felt lonely.
I like how his first-person point-of-view changes throughout the book. It was also like a fiction book, and I had to remind myself that yes, Mikel went through this rough life in real life. As I was reading the beginning of the book, I saw a young and vulnerable kid who wanted a better life with his mom and his brother because he only knew the idea of a family during his time at the School. However, with the constant moving homes, their family dealing with poverty, and his mother’s neglect, he became unsure if he liked that. He was an innocent child, and honestly, I wanted to hug him. As Mikel grows up, we can see his coming-of-age stories and perspective throughout his teenage years, college years, as well as his adult life. Some people came into his life and cared for him as both his parents had new relationships, but eventually, they either left and came back, or left permanently, and Mikel questioned himself about all of his relationships with them.
My therapist recommended this book to me, and as I was reading this, I can see why she let me borrow this book. There were moments where I had the same questioning as Mikel about the world growing up as well as the idea of family. Some characters hit home with the things they said to him when he was a kid, too. Mikel wanted a better life for himself, so as I was reading, I felt proud of the decisions that he made and hoped that he finds the love and connection he always wanted from his family. I mean, Mikel’s still around, so I hope he is currently doing fine and happy with his family and children, haha. As someone who is interested in songwriting, it was also inspirational how he got into music and I would love to see his band perform someday.
I truly recommend this book, and I hope you enjoy this book review. Until then, thanks for reading!
And to my therapist - Thank you for letting me borrow this book!